What do you do if you get a job offer you don’t love – but the paycheck is a big one? Or if a friend or family member asks you for help, but you aren’t really available to help?
If you’re like most of us, you might say yes out of habit. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and, of course, you want people to know that you’re dependable!
But what happens when all of that “yes” starts to wear on you? That’s when you need to embrace boundaries! Setting and honoring boundaries will help you maintain focus and clarity in all areas of your life.
Let’s talk more about how you can set boundaries moving into this new year.
Tips for Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries sounds easy, but it can actually be quite hard! Here are some tips to help you set boundaries and avoid burnout as you work toward achieving your goals.
Get Clarity on What Matters
Like Adam Grant said, “A strategy for avoiding burnout is deciding what doesn’t matter.” Before you can set boundaries, you have to decide what does and doesn’t matter to you and your goals.
Once you find clarity, use it to guide all of your decisions. Understanding your true desires will help keep you aligned and focused – and make it easier to say no to things that don’t serve you.
Give Yourself Space for Reflection
Remember, you can’t control everything, but you can control your reaction to the things that happen around you.
Each day, set aside some time to reflect on the day’s events and how you responded. Was your response in line with your goals? If it wasn’t, hold yourself accountable. Brainstorm ways you can respond more appropriately next time.
Be Clear with Yourself and Others
A big part of setting boundaries is being completely clear with yourself and others on what you will and won’t allow. For example, if someone asks you to help watch their cat and you don’t want to, don’t say something like “I’ll check my calendar!” Don’t even leave the opportunity open. Say “Oh no I’m so sorry. I’m not available to do that for you.”
Understand You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation
The word “no” is a complete sentence. You can explain your reasoning, if you want to, but know that you don’t have to.
You’re making the choices that align with your vision of your life and that’s enough. Avoid the urge to over-explain yourself.
Focus on Your Own Needs
You know when you’re in an airplane and they instruct you to put your own oxygen mask on first? It’s because you can’t help others when you’re struggling yourself.
The same thing is true for saying yes to things that don’t serve you. How can you expect to grow and serve the things that serve you if you’re burnt out from things that don’t matter?
Enlist the Help of a Professional
When all else fails, you can enlist the help of a professional. This person is specifically trained to help people get over their people-pleasing habits and start to focus on themselves and their needs.
If this sounds like something you need help with, please contact me! I’ve helped countless people shed their people-pleasing tendencies and build the boundaries they need to find success, fulfillment, and happiness.
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